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Grief is a universal, yet deeply individual experience. Whether it is the loss of a loved one, a pet, a romantic breakup, or even the end of a situation or an illusion, grief can turn our lives upside down. However, it is possible to find a source of inner transformation in it, provided we understand its mechanisms and approach it with kindness.
In this article, we will explore the different facets of mourning and suggest ways to support and transcend it.
Before Grief: Emotional Shock
The grieving process often begins long before the actual loss. Emotional shock is often the first stage, triggered by a sudden announcement or event. This shock acts like a shock wave through our minds and bodies, leaving a deep emotional imprint.
Consider a serious medical diagnosis or the announcement of a death: these moments freeze time, causing a whirlwind of reactions such as disbelief, fear or anger. This shock can be so intense that it manifests itself physically: shortness of breath, legs gone, dizziness, or even fainting. This is a key stage that we must learn to recognize in order to begin a healing process.
The Different Types of Grief
Classic mourning
The grief we typically associate with the loss of a loved one often follows well-known stages: shock, denial, anger, sadness, acceptance . But these stages are not linear. Some people oscillate between them or remain stuck in one phase for years.
Mourning illusions
This is a lesser-known form of grief, but it is equally devastating. It involves the loss of a relationship or hope, even though the person is still alive or the situation is still present. A romantic breakup, a child who moves away, or an unfulfilled dream are examples of this type of grief. It involves letting go of not only a person, but also all the expectations, hopes, and projections associated with them.
Anticipatory Grief
When someone is seriously ill or at the end of their life, we may begin anticipatory grieving . This anticipatory mechanism sometimes helps us to better accept the loss when it occurs, but it can also generate intense emotional fatigue.
This phenomenon of anticipatory mourning can also manifest itself from childhood, in a completely unconscious way. Some children, out of fear of losing their parents, instinctively begin to prepare for this eventuality, sometimes years or decades before it becomes a reality. This psychological process, although silent and often imperceptible, acts as a protective mechanism, allowing them to experience this moment with a certain form of resilience when it occurs.
Why is grief so complex?
Grief is not limited to the physical loss of a person. It often awakens deep, karmic memories or buried wounds related to abandonment or rejection. These memories influence the way we experience grief and explain why some losses upset us more than others.
Karmic Memories
Some pains come from past lives , where tragic separations or brutal losses marked our soul. These memories can resurface in the face of similar losses, amplifying our current pain.
Family models
Grief patterns are also inherited from our families. For example, in families where communication is limited, it can be difficult to express emotions, which complicates the healing process.
Emotional Grief
Finally, grief can be exacerbated by unmet expectations or unfinished relationships. Guilt, anger, or regret can become obstacles to the grieving process.
Common Obstacles to Grieving
Denial : This unconscious mechanism acts as a protective shield against the pain of loss. It gives us the impression that everything is fine, that we can continue as if nothing had happened. However, this is only a temporary illusion. When the process of awareness finally emerges, it puts an end to this apparent serenity and confronts us with the reality of the loss, often brutally.
Attachment to the past : Clinging to unrealizable hopes can keep you in prolonged suffering.
Seeking Communication : It is natural after the loss of a loved one to seek connection with the deceased person (or their pet), often to ensure that they are at peace or okay. However, it is important to understand that the death marks the end of a cycle for that person, and that the pain resides primarily in you, not in them. To allow for a healthy grieving process, it is best to avoid engaging in excessive seeking of communication, which can sometimes become a form of emotional dependency and addiction.
How to transform grief?
Welcoming the emotional shock
Don’t deny the violence of your emotions, in your mind, in your heart and in your body. Allow yourself to feel the pain, the sadness or the anger. Emotional shock is a natural reaction to loss.
Freeing memories
Working on one's personal karmic, family and couple memories can help release buried emotions and deconstruct recurring patterns. This is a process that can be facilitated by therapeutic or emotional release sessions.
Allowing yourself to let go
Accept that some questions will remain unanswered. Rather than looking for explanations or justifications, focus on the present and what the person or situation has taught you.
Back to love
Love is the key to healing. Not only love for the person or situation lost, but also love for yourself . Take care of yourself, be kind and forgiving towards your own emotions.
The Benefits of Conscious Grieving
Working through grief in a conscious way can transform your life. Here are some of the benefits of a well-supported grieving process:
A feeling of inner peace : you learn to accept what you cannot change.
A better understanding of yourself : Grief pushes you to explore your emotions and deep needs.
Conclusion: Grief as a Portal of Transformation
Grief is a painful experience, but it can become a portal to profound transformation . By welcoming your emotions, working through your memories, and cultivating love for yourself, you can get through this ordeal and come out of it stronger.
If you are grieving or would like to be supported in this process, I am here to help you. Together, we can transform this ordeal into an opportunity for growth and renewal.
Take care of yourself, and remember: even in the darkest times, there is always a light to be found.
Angelic
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